#here's to some activity in the future
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Winter Break 2022 Album
Hey, y'all! My winter break is essentially over, but I've had a great time doing a lot of drawings. This is probably the most I've been able to do in while I've been in college. I don't get to buckle down to draw that often these days, so it's fun to see how much I've managed to get done during this period.
I've been really happy with what I've made, so I decided to compile all of my sketch files and some final drawings in an Imgur album. The album starts with general how-do-I-draw sketches from December 23 last year up to now, so there's about a month worth of material.
The spring semester starts up tomorrow, so there will likely be some large pauses in production coming up. Going through peaks and troughs of drawing is something I've come to accept in college, but I'll be finishing my degree within the year, so perhaps things will change in the future. For now, we will enjoy the time that we have to explore creatively!
Most everything in the album is OC art and doodles, but feel free to take a look if you're interested! Thank you!
Winter Break 2022 Album
#not art#there's a couple of things at the end i haven't posted yet... might clean them up and stick them in the queue for tomorrow#i think i gained a few new followers this winter? thanks for any interaction y'all#it's been mostly ocs and no super completed works#so i appreciate any encouragement#i've mostly just been drawing things that just make me happy!! exploring old and new ideas#here's to some activity in the future
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Rage Form
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#sora#rage form#arendelle#formchange#my gif#rage form is so intriguing#sora still behaves in a wild animalistic fashion similar to his anti form but it's different#anti form felt as if he relinquished all self control and acted strictly on instinct just like a heartless#he used to run around hunched over on all fours and fight tooth and claw with reckless abandon#but here you can at least see SOME semblance of who he is. he's able to wield his keyblade while in this form which is pretty major#he still fights in an absolutely chaotic and primal manner but it feels evolved#the big difference is you call upon rage form at will. he channels his rage and darkness in a desperate last resort to stay alive#which is very significant but he still loses some control like the ability to use of magic; items; shotlocks; etc#it's cool to see darkness used in this way but i really want sora to able to explore themes of darkness within himself in future games#i want these to be more than cool forms with fun gameplay. i want them to have implications that something dark is brewing and needs to be-#brought to the surface and tackled head on because we've never seen anyone capable of cloaking themselves in darkness in such a way#take riku's dark form for example. he's in control and he's very much still himself. it's entirely different#on another note i'm now thinking about how hp is fully restored when activating rage form but you have the choice to give it up again-#when using risk charge. it'll increase attack damage but you're still walking a dangerous line in the pursuit of power
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Just realized that I never explicitly mentioned it in this blog, so here goes: I have multiple sclerosis, which means that I'm susceptible to a lot of health problems like muscle pain, inflammations, fatigue, brain fog and a bunch of other symptoms. On top of that, the treatment for it intentionally makes my immune system weaker, which means I'm more prone to getting sick.
For the past almost two months I've been mildly to severely sick, with different illnesses, one after the other, back to back. I have not been able to work on updating Traces of Spring, or any of my other projects, because I have a chronic illness that makes my life unreasonably difficult. I understand none of you have bad intentions but I'll ask that you stop asking me when I'm going to update. I don't know. Everytime I set a deadline, my body decides to play very petty and cruel games with me and I'm out of comission for 2+ weeks. In this scenario I'm going to prioritize my health instead of working on a comic none of you are paying me to do. If any of you ask me in the future, you will either be directed to this post or ignored.
Thank you.
#i've mentioned it in the bonus pages for chapter 10 but i guess some people dont read those#<- non judgemental#there isn't THAT many people asking + i've closed my inbox and won't be reopening it again for the near future but#anyways. since i never posted here dont feel bad for not knowing but like#i dont think its too much to ask that you assume im not doing good if im not active.#is it to much to ask that you guys worry about my health?
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the best part of staying w a friend I met on Tumblr is I will see their posts on my dash and go. Hehe I'm in ur house
#ooc.#tbd.#ill be more active in the future#i am visiting ani w some other friends for her birthday!#anyways its like a little teehee when i see posts from the folks staying here on the dash
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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Once-ler: “Huh, something seems familiar about this post...”
Warden: “OH!! I remember these!”
Professor: “Ah, yes! There is an air of familiarity here... Care to go on a trip down memory lane with us?”
((A collection of old background images. Not quite unfinished wips (yet) but I’ve been away from home babysitting so I haven’t gotten the chance to look at my scanned archives, 😭 so I went scrolling through my tumblr drafts instead!! Since (I don’t think) I've posted these anywhere else (and in some cases they may be completely lost or new for some) it’s a fun way to break the ice!))
Original (circa 2013-2016)
Camp Weehawken AU
Lovestruck M!A
Future M!A
Wilson M!A
Greed M!A
Reboot (2016-present)
((What will the future hold? Well... we’ll just have to wait and see!))
#tophattrio#top hat trio#top hat friends#modart#onceler#warden#professor layton#M!A#M!A: lovestruck#m!a: future#M!A: wilson#M!A: Greed#((THESE ARE REALLY EXCITING THO BECAUSE LIKE...))#((I lost some of these when the hard drive crashed!!!!))#((FUN FACT this is (presumably) my old image hosting post))#((slightly edited to be posted publicly ofc))#((for those who are new: my bottom image would change every time a big event or a magic anon was activated))#((so I'd upload my images to this post and change my tumblr theme to match the magic anon / blog event))#((nowadays I rely more on imgur or discord for this kind of thing))#((a lot of these images have been lost because they were here for a 1 time gag... but I think it would be fun to post them for realsies))#((unfortunately my hard drive nuked everything before the lovestruck M!A so I can't post all the updated icons...))#((but this was a good find... 8') ...))#((speaking of updated icons........ thinking about.... an update...))
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well. love senior sure was a show that i watched all the episodes of and is now over lmao [/end of review
#there is of course: more review down here in the bitch section:#twas shockin. absolutely skidded off the road in those last few eps from being mediocre but middling watchable to actively terrible#which if you watched it you know is me making a reference to the piss poor traffic adherence at love senior university#finale truly had it all: head trauma. amnesia. the male love rival when you were sleeping-ing one of the leads.#reconciliation after 2-3 eps of endless wank lasting all of 5 MINUTES AGH#anyway. some of the actresses were good enough that i'll look out for them in future non star hunter projects probably#and i was glad warang and prang got a kiss even if it was a widdle one#love senior
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"i will go to bed earlier than usual today," i said, lying to myself.
#sparrowsong#i'm not even actively having demons about self-narrativization and perception#i'm JUST thinking about instances where i have had them in the past or could in the future#and this is apparently enough to keep me awake#me @ me: what are we doing here. why this.#why are there not mirrors for non-physical elements of the self. i would be worse in some ways if these existed but! i dunno! i wanna see!
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considering for the first time in some years if i should stay home for new years eve. which says a lot. about some situations and also people
#going to this new years eve dinner and seeing some guy who's friends of friends of mine and catching up when i last saw him a year ago#like. yeah man eventful year. i now cant stand half the people we have in common#yeah they're here tonight. no i knew and still came. yeah it's complicated. anyway nice to see you how are you#also consider this. new years movie night. classic activity. LOVE a new years movie#'when your friends suck you always have a movie'- me age 17 if i could give my future self advice. and she's right you know#personal
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still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni
like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!
#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp!#and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward#fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like.#but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine#and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization#and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing#ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them!#anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following#like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade#and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but.#these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another#and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it#and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up.#but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!!#and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh#not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us#so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities#like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually!#idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without#implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic?#anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper#of viciously constrained femininity#that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children#so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract#but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on#instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple#is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run!#anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.
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i have something very personal and ugly and probably incoherent that i need to get off my chest about israel. to preface im not a zionist, i am jewish and disgusted by israel on a daily basis, and this is me mostly speaking from that. i am sorry and if anyone who follows me doesn't want to read this from me/hates it i ask that you just scroll on by and forget it. and if you do read it and respond im happy to talk but just please take it in good faith. in reponse to this post
#it's not black and white. maybe in purely theoretical moral dilemma terms it seems that way. but not in reality.#what do you do with an israel that should not exist on principle but does? it does and the people in it have been there for generations now#and it's jewish. this DOES complicate things and i wish people would stop pretending it doesn't.#it makes everything literally everything so. fucking. complicated.#cause you end up with this implicit ultimatum: side with hamas or be a zionist. what other options are there under this world view#if you only think israel should stop mass murdering palestinians but speak in favour of 2 state solution or talk about 'right to exist'#are you saying you're fine with everything else; the occupation was justified just not outright genocide?#it always has to go back to the ideological origin of zionism which means a call to abolish the state of israel entirely.#and in parallel if you talk of atrocities on 7 october or terrorists this takes away from the palestinian struggle right#because hamas are the armed resistance to israel and to call for their condemnation to withdraw support from the unrwa#is to renounce solidarity with the palestinian cause in any way that matters. do you really care if you deny them the right to resist?#but here's the other side. you just cannot ask this of jews. maybe some jews but the vast majority? telling them they need#to essentially throw their support behind an organisation that hates their existence?#hamas ARE antisemitic. the houthis are antisemitic#it's a different kind of antisemitism to the white/aryan supremacist kind. it's complex and it comes with an actual weight of grievances#but it's still antisemitism. the future desired by the resistance is not kind to jews certainly not in palestine and realistically#not anywhere else either. islamophobia and antisemitism have both seen huge upticks since 7 october. do you think it's just#nazis and far right bigots enjoying free reign? no. there is a real inter ethnic inter religious hatred here. you can't just wish it away#there's a real sense i get from the circles i follow here that you have to be 'all in' with your activism or else your views are worth shit#but then i guess it's okay if your wholehearted antizionist rhetoric is just a bit antisemtic as well or supports those who are#so yeah actually for jews this is not an easy solution. at least for this jew it is not. the only uncomplicated thing for me#s seeing what israel does and calling it a crime against humanity and demanding an immediate ceasefire#talking unreservedly about the evil that israel has committed against palestinians for decades#i wish it was as uncomplicated as going from that to saying israel needs to disappear completely. but im jewish and i have a jewish family.#i cant boycott my father like a problematic celebrity for getting upset when i said israel should never have been established at all#i cant sit in judgment of every jew who feels some personal connection to israel when i'm 2 degrees removed from victims of 7 october#anyway. me personally i fucking loathe israel. not Just Its Government i hate the mocking cruelty of its army and many people in it#and also for how it is tied up with jewish identity despite me wanting no part of it. whether i like it or not.
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Out of seemingly nowhere, a large double-axe was swung into Blackfire’s way, and she stopped out of reflex only to then meet eyes with another tamaranean. “You will not approach him further,” he spoke, in tamaranean, and she rose an eyebrow for a moment while looking up and down the other. Clearly he was a warrior, and rather old-fashioned too, if his armor and choice of weapon was any indication.
“No way,” she replied after a moment, also in tamaranean, and her voice raising in surprise. “Ggringo?” Of course she recognized him, she had already heard of another tamaranean being around, and did her research on who it was. But it was better to ‘be’ surprised. “Ggringo, is that really you? Look how you’ve grown!”
He narrowed his eyes to her words, and didn’t move his weapon out of her way yet. “I have heard the stories. I know that you are always intending to harm Kori and Ryand’r.”
Shrugging, Blackfire had already expected such a response. “Oh come on. If you’d ask the Gordanians about us, you wouldn’t exactly hear anything good either, would you? It all depends on the point of view.”
Now his weapon was lifted a little bit away from her, though he still held it ready. “Then you are not intending harm for them?”
“Is that all you ever think of? Always those two?” She stepped closer now, one of her hands moving to gently stroke across the side of the blade of the axe, then wandering along the sharp edge of the blade too. “A great weapon. You brought that along from Tamaran, didn’t you?”
Her attempt of distracting him from the topic worked, and Moonshot's posture even relaxed a little as he nodded. “I would never use another weapon unless I am forced to.”
“Of course not. It’s really useful how our weapons cooperate with our energy.” She inspected the blade closely, and hummed a little as she did so. “Infused blades, huh? Good choice.” Now Blackfire gently pushed the weapon out of her way, and Moonshot either actually allowed it or maybe simply was too baffled by her approach as she now touched one of the spikes on his shoulders. “Sharpening them on the regular, it seems. Wise of you.”
His focus stayed on her with any of her movements, but he didn’t actually stop her. “It would be foolish to not do so. A good warrior is always prepared.”
“And what a good warrior you are. I can see that by looking at you alone.” She purred as her hand moved along another spike, then the one on his belt, then the sharp edge of his glove with the broken gem. When she started to trace across the glove, he pulled away the hand along with the weapon that he was carrying in that hand, and she tilted her head. “Sorry. Bad memories, I presume?”
He had immediately moved the other hand to rub over the broken gem after pulling away, and for a moment didn’t answer her. “… No. I… I am not interested.”
Now she pouted, but still didn’t remove herself from being so close to him. “I wasn’t even thinking about that; all I was doing was admiring your armor.”
“Oh.”
Hard to believe he considered himself a good warrior, when he was falling for her words so easily. Still, now that he had avoided it, she was curious about one thing. Pointing at the gem, she asked: “What’s with that? Didn’t like the perfect look?”
He froze for a moment when she pointed out the gem - strangely enough the simple question, the simple attention towards the remains of the stone, was enough to have a mix of fear and panic wash over him. “It wasn’t my choice,” Moonshot uttered after a moment, his face turning away.
“So bad memories indeed. Sorry.” She grabbed his hand in a form of apology, and this time he didn’t pull away. “I’ve got my share of that, too; you’re not alone.” Still keeping his hand in hers, her other hand moved in to gently move across the armor on his chest. Sleek and neither dented nor scratched - clearly he hadn’t fought a real battle in this suit yet. Warrior, right; he might know how to fight and handle most weapons, but he sure didn’t seem like a proper experienced tamaranean warrior. “Now, since you heard stories, I guess that means you already reunited with my sister and our baby brother. How’s it going between you and her?” She was still more or less clinging to his chest, doing her best to pretend to simply be doing it to check out the details of his armor, which of course was not the actual point of her doing it.
“I… she is… there is no going between us.”
“Aw. And that when you’re such a strong, brave, glorious warrior… enduring the terrible times you no doubt have been through, all to return… and she? Did you at least talk to her?” She was as far as basically cuddling against his chest by now, and he only stared down at her, weapon in one hand and the other still in her grasp. Heh. He might think himself strong, or resistant, but Blackfire could sense how she was winning him over. It would take time to reach a good point, but, this was still easy. “Wait, don’t tell me.” A quick finger on his mouth hushed him just as he was about to answer to her question. “Let me guess. You talked to her, wanted to take your connection up where you left it, and all she had in her mind was Earth, and her little friends.” Moonshot nodded, and Blackfire frowned. “Thats so typical of her. You deserve better! You should go, and try to talk to her again. Right now.”
He blinked a few times to those words, and for a moment looked skywards as if considering to start flying over, but then returned his attention down to her again. “I am here to protect Ryand’r from you. I will not simply leave.”
Ah, looks like at least a part of his mind actually is as tough as he probably thinks himself to be. “I thought I explained well-enough that there’s nothing to protect him from. All I want is a little reunion. A bit of talking. There’s no harm in that, is it?”
He took a step away from her, and folded his weapon down to stash it away again. “I will stay close.”
Again Blackfire shrugged, even though deep down she delighted in how easy he gave in to her wishes. “Of course. It’s your choice if watching him from afar is more important to you than being with my sister.” A swift gesture of her hand, and Moonshot moved aside (while slightly growling), making way for Blackfire to hover down and towards Wildfire.
#✫ General Tag (Blackfire(Canon)) ✫#✫ IC (Blackfire(Canon)) ✫#✫ General Tag (Moonshot(OC)) ✫#✫ IC (Moonshot(OC)) ✫#✫ Memories for the future me ✫ | Drabbles#and here we see bf in her natural habitat/activity; manipulating and playing with someone#I should write the following 'reunion' between bf and ry at some point too
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It's crazy how these past two months have been a legit trip and I have not cried more in my entire life. There are so many things I never worked on within myself that, given the chance, I would have taken to the grave. However, my recent experiences have opened my eyes to the true possibilities of having a life well lived, as well as how much pain that comes with living a full life. I'm coming to terms with how I compartmentalized my relationships: gave friendship to friends, love to lovers, and sex to everyone. I grew comfortable living in the space in-between that existed without labels or boundaries. And how damaging that paradigm was to my psyche.
I'm healing slowly, yet life is passing by rapidly.
It's a dangerous space to occupy.
#jacob blogs#trevor and i ended our relationship#i fell in love with the idea of a future with someone else#i was faced head on with my own insecurities and a lot of the really really shitty stuff ive done in life#like really shitty stuff#isolated and disconnected from some of my friends#tried my damnedest not to self harm#and even wrote music for the first time since june 2022#journaled and began a new self healing process through writing#anyway been going through a lot and haven't been active as much on here#im still here#searching for that inner motivation that will take me to the future i dream for myself
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Nothing like the end of a year to really drive home your feelings of loneliness.
(some venting in the tags, it's that time of the year again. also to the two people from offline life potentially reading this: this is obviously not about you and I care about you deeply)
#delete later#i might leave this city next year and i do not have any friends elsewhere and even the ones here are not enough. it scares me.#justo nce i would like to spend new year's eve with a group of friends who care about each other and me#i love my girlfriend and i am so happy to spend time with her and looking forward to shared celebrations and all. i just need some other#additional connections somewhere and at this time of the year the loneliness that is pretty much part of my personality now always gets the#better of me.#i felt fine and mostly content with my social life in summer.#but the uncertain future and the already existing lack of deeper connections in a quantity and also qulaity that would be good for me is#draining.#i am also behind on work and stressed and my mother has a broken leg and can't move much so christmas will be bleaker than usual already.#actually everything combined might just be something to talk to the university's mental health counseling again. you don't always have to b#at breaking point to ask for some guidance.#/end of oversharing#ergh rereading this makes me want to delete it right away but this is still my diary so#i also have to add that i am making some efforts. i go to a martial arts class. i play d&d with some people (admittedly my flatmate and my#gf + 3 others). i go swimming with my gf + 2 people. i am active in a nature conservation group at my university. just - everyone there#always seems to have enough close connections already AND i am scared to get too close to people i might have to leave behind.#typing this out has actually helped me get some ideas on what to do. so i am cringing less about having put this out there.#still feeling bad but willing to make an effort#personal log
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